Inspiration

I’m writing this post in a moment when I have no idea where I’m going and with very few achievements that I could call true breakthroughs. But I will definitely write this also for the people who do not trust me. And there are quite a few. Today I have been told that someone fears for my future. It hurt a lot. Because no matter what I do, that person will feel disappointed. Why?

You see, I have this thing I am good at and which people look at with disbelief: photography. And it makes me sad that they feel that way. But it comes to prove I am not yet good enough. I am not good enough in their eyes and most importantly, I DO NOT EARN ENOUGH. Before I get too angry on this subject, let me return to inspiration and blogging.

Even though most of the photos shown in this post show the photographer, I also like to write and draw. But since it’s mostly photography, I’ll talk about that.

I get inspired by people. A lot. And oddly enough, I don’t think I’m a people person. I find it hard to mingle in a group of people (by group, I mean more than 5). Nevertheless, I still take photos of them.

I get inspired by clouds, the sky, the blue in the sky, you name it. I think I have tens of photos on that subject, mainly because I like to look up. My window is the only one in the house with a good view of the sky. I’m blessed.

I get inspiration from other photographers. Mainly, one best friend. She is represented in the pic above and she also took the rest of the photos in this post. Check her out here. But I also check other people out and the internet has never let me down on sources of new photographic projects (see the flour photography project).

I photograph what other people normally wouldn’t. The ones whom I go out with when I have the camera with me already got used to the idea of stopping once in a while and looking at a bench or a fallen leaf that looks to me as if it’s a potential subject. Like I said, they got used to it. They have no choice. They know I am the one who will be taking photos of them in the future.

(I soooo look like a professional photographer in the above picture, makes you think I’m doing a shoot for a fashion magazine, right? Or it might be just me…)

So despite this dependency that my friends have to my skills in portrait photography, why so serious? Really. I can’t see myself doing anything else. If I don’t do photography, I might just forget who I am. The first two photos are taken in 2010, when we went on a photographic walk around the city, my friend and I. It’s only been 2 years, but I feel like photography has grown inside me somehow. I watered it every day and now it turned into a beautiful flower. My problem? Nobody sees that flower the way that I do. They are being nice at moments, but deep inside, they doubt me. They have no idea that I can see it in their eyes. Or in their gestures. Or in a certain word. The ones who do gather the courage to express their disbelief are the ones who are closest to me.

Remember that line with the flower that grew inside me. So when I’ll give you a bouquet, you’ll see. You’ll know.

(The 365 project is not relevant for what I have written above. I consider it to be a separate personal project altogether. Copyright for four photos goes to Corina Margarit.)

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